Thursday, 19 January 2012

Reflecting at 200

Rah another milestone in this epic journey of mine. Hard to fathom that 100 days ago I was contemplating my 25th birthday. Now it's 2012 and I'm faced with terrorist threats and a national crisis over the fuel subsidy. I'm grateful though – still trying to stay learned, understand my native tongue and 'shine my eye' for any scam artists scoping me as an easy target.

From the last landmark entry I've been a victim of jazz - twice (I can't find another explanation to decipher what happened), got a new job (those in the know will relate to how much a triumph this is) and united with a bunch of long-lost cousins I never knew I had. Mixed bag in all but variety is the spice of life right even if I'm not a big fan of pepper. Till date I'm still vehemently denying accusations that I've acquired a wifey out here. Peeps back home are of the opinion I've already consumed her love potion, promising her a British passport and a house with a swimming pool and garden. *Sigh* My Life.

Anyhow, deciding to keep this one to a minimum, concise and straight to the point – had a few gripes about the length of my entries so I'll let pictures deputise for textual content. Miss Kennedy always said I waffled too much in my essays and she wasn't wrong. Still got an A in English Lang and Lit though AND WHAT!! See you at 300 – SPAAAARTAN!! 

Life's a Beach: If it was it wouldn't be half as hard - chilling, Eleko Beach, Lekki

Family Affair: One of my long-lost

Sips up: Drinking that fresh Coconol

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Vouch for me

*Sigh* 2012 - if this is how you're going to continue for the next 362 odd days I think I'd rather say my goodbyes now. The New Year is only 4 days old and already drama is rolling up on my plate.

They say chivalry is dead but perhaps it's because the intended recipients continue to put a gun to the efforts of those who try. I'll refrain from ousting this individual on the net but the actions of this Blackberry Babe reminded me of one particular experience I had back in LDN.

As a friendly gesture I invited this female out to eat - nothing squalid, fancy or suggestive just a platonic dinner. Feeling a little gingered after copping a cheque for a whole £438.45 in overpaid taxes from Inland Revenue, I encouraged her to order anything she wanted; she obliged. Now covering a three course meal would usually have me frantically calculating the dent in finances and weeks staying indoors this indulgent investment in food would have on me.

So after eating we requested for the bill as you do; it came to around £38 or so. I paused for a reflective moment to analyse the items on the receipt before reaching for my pocket. After fervidly refusing her cynical offers to pay, I brought out my wallet and a creased piece of folded paper. I'd placed it suggestively on the table - the waitress looked at me to confirm her suspicions. In a coded manner I nodded discreetly before reverting focus back on my company – looking perplexed she asked:

"What's that?"

Now those familiar with Zizzi's know they run frequent offers permitting guests to discounts, extra food etc so why not take advantage of it.

"It's a discount voucher" I replied sounding real proud of myself.

At that precise moment her facial expression creased up to resemble that of a constipated Shar Pei.

"Oh my days, a voucher? What so I'm not worth a full meal yeah. How can you invite me out for a meal and use a voucher to pay. That's taking the piss". She was usually a timid individual from the peaceful outskirts of Kent but the South-East London in her really came out that evening.

At this point I'm assuming it's all a little fun and games, a joke. So I'm there with a big grin on my face thinking she's playing. WRONG. Maybe she was a little high but the last time I checked Appletizer had no alcoholic content. The girl was genuinely pissed and we haven't really spoken since. I've shared my experience with others and got mixed reactions. Some saying she was inconsiderate, others condemning me for falling for the cheapskate option. I'm still of the opinion, if they're offering, I'm taking but I guess it really depends on your relation with said individual. This latest edition was very similar the only difference being the backlash being twice as outlandish but it's cool, she won't be getting a BB from me that's for sure - Bloody Otundo!

Naija Quotables


Myself and the security guy at work get into a little banter about differences in African and Western culture and he asks:

"So where do you live in London or UK?"

"London is in the UK Boss" I reply

"Jesu. So London dey inside UK - Kai, me na professional mugu oh"

2. "Take this in case of in-casity"

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Happy New One

It's been a while I got intimate with my keyboard to post an entry like this - news of fuel subsidies and Boko Haram won't allow me rest.

That aside upon reading this I assume you've made it to the new year - Congrats! According to some 'experts' we're all doomed if prophecy is to be followed to the letter, but I'll leave that for them to worry about. I'm just glad to see another year, being given the chance to right my wrongs and further myself in this journey we call life.


2011 was one of my better years - so many people, good and bad played vital roles on my stage through which I've bettered myself as a person. Experiences and new challenges have been paramount in making 2011 what it was for me. It's really been a breakthrough year in setting out to achieve something and actually doing it namely this NYSC journey I'm currently embarking on - God helping me I'll complete my service with no qualms.

Never been one to conform to culture and conjure new resolutions - I feel life is a continuous resolution and I'll attempt to employ this into my daily lifestyle.

Before I go I noticed (whilst checking Blog stats) it only used to be one old lady in Ukraine who oddly found my material ever so slightly amusing. Now I'm responsible for keeping 19 followers engaged with the happenings of my Nigerian endeavours. My yellow cheeks are glowing red - thanks for feeling my random accounts are worth keeping a tab on. I'll reciprocate when NEPA decides to bring light and with that I bid you a Happy New One!