Thursday, 20 January 2011

Naija > OMO SEXY!!

Mi dunn return with that inimitable Naija aroma of dust, nuts and a hint of body odour. Back to the cold weather and being an ethnic minority again *sigh*. It’s hammer-tan season over there so my cousin was complaining about wearing socks and sweaters because it was too cold. Oh and the temperature when I asked – a freezing 28 degrees Celsius! I guess it’s all relative.
Shish, it feels good to be back though after an epic sojourn in the motherland. Probably comes as a surprise to most as

  1. I kept intelligence of my trip on hush status and
  2. some people felt I wouldn’t have the endurance to go through with what I set out to do or alternatively believed I was just chatting S.
Side Note: I'm liking this sly movement thing - it makes my endeavours appear twice as important and intriguing than they really are. Conceited I know - don't judge me.

I’ve gone and come back and the diagnosis is – a beautifully mad experience. From the kamikaze driving (DVLA can’t prepare you for that kind of driving) to the frenetic commotion of Lagos market – it’s simply something you’ve got to subject yourself to in order to comprehend it and you know what - I effing LOVE IT!

I used to be one of those nominal Nigerians - totting gun fingers when the DJ would salute the Nigerians in the raves but in truth I was only Nigerian by naturalisation as I couldn't even understand a word of my native tongue. Repping from a safe distance so to say. Now I’ve got an infallible love affair with my cultural heritage from the lingo to the ‘AF’ mentality in doing things.

I used to think people were gassing when they said Nigeria was a beautiful country – all I saw was tattered vehicles and smelly gutters. Now it seems the veil has been lifted and those MOT-failing vans and roadside shit pits now look like X6’s and luxury mansions.
Naija is truly a beautiful nation with all its shortcomings. Don’t ever get it twisted, the prominent corruption, poverty and lack of light (NEPA still haven’t fixed up) don’t rank highly in the opinion polls, but I see much more than that now – the culture; the opportunities; the potential. It’s all there waiting in a calabash to be cooked into something tangible if one sees fit to put the work in.

One of the objectives going out there is to finally learn my language which is Oron NOT Efik – which is a spin-off to Efik, kind of what slang is to proper English. Didn’t grasp an awful lot this time round but I picked up some broken lingo:

JAND England/London
BUNKOM Fool, idiot (the way I plan to fire this at some people - bafflement!)
BABYLON Silly individual, someone lacking sense
BUTTROW Alcoholic beverage
GO-SLOW Heavy traffic
PHONAY A foreign accent usu. British or American

Man I’m gonna stop there, starting to sound like a tourist. Nigeria baby - we need to do this again sooner rather than later but for now, Jand boy needs to catch Zzz for bureau tomorrow *raises imaginary glass of palm wine*

Mi Offski, ESIERE!!!

Tracks of the trip - Action Film and One Naira from MI2: The Movie by M.I and Thief My Kele by Banke W. Miss Bunkom can witness to how we audibly abused these tracks whilst cruising in the Camry! Its alot of things.